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Writer's pictureLalita Dileep

The Difficult Task of Asking

Pix Credit: Rick Fisher

Interdependence


It can be daunting to admit we need assistance. Most of us prefer not to display vulnerability. Love to appear self-sufficient and baulk when faced with the option of having to Ask. The blind insistence of trying to do everything by ourselves is perhaps what holds us back from reaching out and Asking. Figuring out how to nuance the Ask without appearing susceptible is another hurdle to cross. Yet once we embrace the idea that Asking is resourceful, gathering strength, allows endless possibilities to open up. Joining forces indicates respect for others, creates self-confidence as well as the ability to be open to possibilities. As we look around us, there are lessons everywhere. In Nature, collaboration is the order of the day. Vegetation, soil, animals, wind, water all sustain one another to form a cohesive union.


Sustained Impact


Milton Olsen, the naturalist illustrates an evocative study from natures. How leadership and cooperation come to the fore. His famous analogy about flying of geese teach us important lesson about interdependence. As the flock of geese fly together, each bird flaps its wings, creating an “uplift” for the bird following. By flying in a “V” formation, the whole flock adds 71 % great flying range than if the bird flew alone. The inherent exercise teaches us that we can share a sense of community, seek the same direction, and get there quicker if we travel together traveling on the “thrust” of one another. If a goose falls out of formation, it quickly gets back into formation taking advantage of the “lifting power” of the bird in front.  When the lead goose gets tired, it rotates back into the formation and another goose flies at the point position. This wonderful, fluid symphony teaches us tasks to willingly accept help and distribute it too. Another hidden tutorial that emerges is to take turns doing hard tasks and sharing leadership for sustained impact.


Framing it Right


Our lives have becomes increasingly insular in today’s world. However far the reach of social media, this need to be balanced out with face to face interactions. Asking for assistance is also indirectly an intervention in our personal space, something many of us our reluctant to do. We need to invest in the tensile strength of friendship and fellowship and let it rise above hesitancy. Employing “the Ask” is what resourceful folks do as they gather assets and join forces. It means greenlighting our visions and venturing forth. One more step forward to building a strong fellowship. Forging alliances is creating a strong support system that can create “dream teams”.


Unfolding our passions which are driven by purpose can come to fruition with “six degrees of separation”. This refers to psychologist Stanley Milgram experiment called ‘the Small World Experiment”, which showed that two strangers in the US could be connected to one another through no more than six intermediaries. Knowing this reality, it is becomes easy to frame the Ask, seek assistance and garner the support needed to give Life to our latent ideas. To remain in leadership position and yet retain the strength to reach out to others with dignity and poise in order to climb upwards.


My readers, how have you perfected the delicate art of framing your Ask? Does the act make you feel vulnerable or empowered? What lessons have you learnt that can be shared? Do you feel more comfortable reaching out for the Ask in a professional environment but not in a personal capacity? Do share your stories so we can transform ourselves into change agents.

We are stronger together


1 Comment


dileepsri
Jul 23

Very beautiful article. The example of the geese flying in a “V” formation and bringing out success through interdependence is compelling.

Very good read for sure.

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