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  • Writer's pictureLalita Dileep

Why is it so Hard to ask for Help - revisiting the "do-it-alone attitude"

Building a community so we can be better for each other

Asking for help is not a sign of #weakness. Instead, it is a signal of being honest, vulnerable, a genuine sign of need and a way to reinforce relationships. Without a doubt, it takes tremendous courage. But we need to shed the stigma that surrounds asking for help and bring it out in the open.

The present times are taking a real toll on everyone in insidious ways that we cannot fathom yet. We are facing so much of the unknown, an ambiguous future with a timetable that is being stretched into the ether with no clear end in sight. Physically we are bound within the four walls of our homes, many of us far away from our families, our loves ones, siblings, dear ones, work-family, unable to step outside without it being absolutely necessary.

Most of us are better versions of ourselves when we congregate, share food and laughter, see and hug each other, move and shop at will.

Opening up Important Conversations

Instead, in the interest of humanity, we are all taking precautions and staying indoors, maintaining social distancing, wearing masks and keeping safe. These are the physical steps.

Let's talk about the other side of the coin: the effect this is having on our emotional and mental health and why we might need to ask for assistance. We need to manage the stress in our lives. Simply put we need to be unafraid to ask for help.

Why is it so hard to ask? Is it is the fear of appearing weak, dependent, or uninformed behind this refusal to pause and ask? Is it because we think we’re being a bother to people, who will in turn reject us? Or does it have to do with the fact that in the past, requests for help have been rejected? It could also be that many of us come from a place where we value“ doing it yourself” rather than “letting others in.” Whatever the reason - the current times are different and call for a distinctive outlook.

Self Care is Vital

To ensure we don't unravel we have to reassess our affirmations. We have to navigate ourselves to form a community where is there are no such things as oversharing. Let's talk, explore, take care of each other in such a way where we help each other without even realizing we are doing just that.

There are so many avenues available to us and we should explore whatever works for us: talking to friends and family, reading self-development books, gleaning counsel from talk shows that offer information, and many other resources. Surfing the Internet for like-minded questions and answers is a great first step. Posting vulnerable questions anonymously in chat rooms and seeking guidance. Listening to podcasts with their astounding range of topics and resources, including spiritual ones. As a final step, reaching out to professional help is totally acceptable. It's never too late to learn to ask for help and re-frame it as a sign of strength.

Let us set the stage for normalizing the conversation. #Empathy is the key. Because remember, we need each other to succeed together. Self Care is the pivot on which everything hinges. Feel free to share your stories and your resources. Let's help, support, advice and guide one another other - we will be stronger for it.

Stay strong together


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